Last Saturday was our anniversary. We had the best weekend. We took April to the lake and she had so fun playing in the water.

Amelia put this on her story about my life story I wrote for the children last year. The baby is potty training!!

Pete & I love Karl so much and we love to babysit him.

So, I stayed home from work this past week. I had dental surgery on Tuesday, had to get a molar pulled because I cracked it somehow and it had a root canal that was causing problems. I have been on pain meds, and my mouth is sore. It sucks to have a sore mouth. I take very good care of my teeth. I floss daily, use a water pick and an electric toothbrush. I do not ever want to have to get dentures! Getting my tooth pulled makes me sad and feel old and I do not like this.

I have been trying really hard to work on forgiveness in my life. I do not want to get to heaven and find out I had too much resentment towards people who upset me in this life, I do not want to be brought down from their past mistakes and in how they treated me.

I want forgiveness for my wrong doings, and I need to be able to forgive others if I expect the same.

It’s hard to let it all go; I have dug deep, and the feelings are raw and painful. God tells me to let that shit go, all of it, and just love. I also have learned that God turns beauty from my ashes, and everything is a learning experience, our souls chose our life, and we knew what we would need to do to learn from each and everything that we go through. We are all on our own journey and we all have our own mountains to climb. I have never been to counseling or had a therapist, besides my psychiatrist who only prescribes the meds. My only therapist is God and we talk daily.

What I’m learning is that I can turn everything in my life around, completely. I take the bad and do good with it. I can look at people with a different set of eyes and try to see their soul the good in them through their imperfections. I realize that instead of playing victim I need to be a victor and ask myself questions like, “What can I learn from this?” instead of saying, “This is what happened to me and I’m pissed.”

I have learned through my trails how to be a damn good mom!

How to take ten thousand pictures of my children and record everything about their lives.

How to be a survivor, a warrior, a historian for my family.

And those things are good qualities to have, I’m proud of myself for rising above and turning the crap that got thrown at me into a blessing and happy ending.