Devastated

I don’t have words:

Well, maybe I do, but I share these thoughts because these are all the feelings I have right now.

I never thought I would be living in America feeling so sad, and scared.

They killed another young man.

They tried to cover it up.

I feel Donald Trump is the anti-Christ.

I have unfriended so many people on my social media account.

I feel sick when I read their posts.

They say, “Let ice do their jobs” WTF??

Let ice continue to terrorize neighborhoods, innocent five-year-old children, kidnap, torture, beat up, kill, and throw them in concentration camps?

NO that is EVIL

That is wrong

That is disgusting.

I am sickened with the world I’m living in right now.

I never thought all my writing and documenting my life would turn into politics and me being an activist.

But the more I see, the more shock I feel

The only thing that makes it better is when I write it down.

Ice is going after everyone now.

I thought for a minute maybe I should carry my birth certificate with me at all times.

I thought about the brown skinned little babies & children at my school and became afraid for them.

I keep looking for those awful men in masks as I’m driving to work and back.

I am devastated.

And my own children do not want to hear or talk about it.

Realizing that our next elections will most likely be rigged by the monster millionaires makes me feel even more afraid.

What the fuck are we going to do!

I don’t know what the hell to do

Pete & I took our grandson to the zoo last Saturday. It was kind of a letdown, the zoo wasn’t how I remembered it as a child, but our grandson still seemed to enjoy it.

Thinking about quitting social media for a while. I need a mental break. I care too much about innocent people getting hurt and I carry that weight in my soul. Then I get mad.

I also do not like what I see on Facebook from friends that defend and stick up for ice and trump.

How can they?

Do they not see what I see?

Do they only watch fox news?

Do they want to pretend like everything is wonderful and trump has made America great again?

Lies, lies, lies

shame, shame, shame

Do they not understand the reason behind why people all over the country are protesting?

Especially Minnesotans.

NO, they are not causing trouble!!

yes, they do love their neighbors, and they are trying to help them!!

They are doing the very thing that Jesus said to do.

The whole thing clearly is disturbing.

I’m at the point in my life where I have absolutely no patience for ignorant people.

I want people to care.

So yeah, I think I myself became an activist out of heart break.

Starting with George Floyd, and then from all that has happened since.

I see how they lie, I see how they try to turn the stories to make them look good. I see right through people. I always have!

The problem is that my own children do not like me being an activist.

So, I do not know what to do about that.

I just don’t know.

my thoughts

Me giving my grandson baths, listening to mamas & papas.

The sweetness & gratitude moments of when they brought the new baby home. His big brother was so sweet with him.

A time in my life where I am most grateful & happy. We feel so very blessed.

Then our youngest daughter comes home from Japan with the exciting news that she is engaged! I have been hoping for this, and we are very happy.

My daughter is the most beautiful soul, she loves whole heartedly, without conditions, she is one of the most Christlike humans I know, and she has helped me so much in this life. I wish her only joy, love, and happiness throughout her life, and I will always be her biggest fan.

My heart has been heavy & sad this past week, I cry in my car, I talk to God, I have been extremely troubled.

Although I am very happy that we have a beautiful new grandbaby, and my youngest is engaged, there is so much trouble in our Country.

I do not understand why these things are happening, and the cover up from the monster who put us all in this situation in the first place. We knew this would happen, we tried to voice our concerns, mainly on my blog, but I find myself with people/family who do not want to hear it, and who want instead to try to cover it up.

This bothers me intensely. It feels like I’m Anne Frank and the Nazis are invading neighborhoods, going door to door kidnapping, brutalizing, and causing great fear in our country.

Would my very own family be ok with what they did back in Germany with the Jews? I hear statements like, “As long as it’s not happening to me, I’m ok

I’m not going to let this upset me”

Seriously? How could they be happy or not let this bother them when innocent people are being killed, and beat up?

I am thankful that God gave me the heart I have and I will be ok with how I am acting in this moment in History.

Do they read their scriptures? Are they that ignorant that they can justify this cruelty? They show up for church on Sundays in their nice dresses & suits singing worship songs while their neighbors are being bullied & killed.

It makes me sick to my stomach and I will always continue to fight for the underdogs.

Please note, I DO NOT FUCKING CARE IF THEY ARE IMMIGRANTS! I don’t even care if their criminals, you do not murder people!!

And of course, trump has it all twisted, and fake news, trying to make America believe that these people are bad, and they deserve it.

I think thats how they treated Christ.

My soul feels heavy; I cry a lot.

God tells me to forgive these people who I am so upset with. HE tells me HE loves them unconditionally, however HE also tells me that it’s ok for me to be so sad, because I have a heart and a good soul. HE tells me everyone will get their karma, whether in this life or the next, and HE tells me not to worry or be troubled.

Peace, I leave with you Jayda, not the peace from this world but the peace from Christ.

I will continue to document, like I have my whole life.

One day my books will be left for my family, and they will see this hate almost got to me. But because I have Christ in my heart I will rise above, I will continue to keep my eyes on the light while I am walking through the shadow of death & hate.

Several people fear GOD because of their religious beliefs, they think certain ways, and are conservative about how life is supposed to be, But the freedom God gave back to me on a cold September day back in 2019, is radical, I will fight like hell and not let ANYONE try to take that away from me, because deep in my heart I know this life is not about a religion, it’s a personal, freeing, relationship with Christ who loves us all.

Jayda Dawn

Priceless days, welcome our new baby

Our second grandson was born last Monday. A healthy, beautiful, baby boy. Teller James Broetsky. His middle name is after his papa Pete and Pete’s dad Jim. Kash also has that middle name.

We are all in heaven, overwhelmed with so much love and happiness.

My dad asked Sage back in April when we were visiting him, “Where is your baby brother, to Banks”? he predicted this before any of us even knew.

We are so happy, and proud of our daughter. She is such a wonderful mom.

I got to babysit my oldest grandson while they were in the hospital. We did a Target run, and I spoiled him rotten. I bought him gifts, and even a sucker. He loved that sucker.

He played at my house with our new puppy and the dogs. We are also babysitting Karl right now while Amelia & Kristie are in Japan.

He goes in his bedroom, gets out all his toys, watches his favorite TV shows, and takes a bath with his new bath toys. Pete also makes him dinner.

We made a welcome home poster for baby Teller, Banks loved painting and he is such an artist.

I have been with my daughter this past week, helping her out as much as I possibly can.

She is so strong, she is so wonderful, and I’m just so very glad that I get this opportunity & lesson of helping my daughter out while she brings a new baby into their family.

I would not trade these days for anything!

finishing up with Christmas

Finishing up with what I got for my grandson, it’s so cute every time he comes to my house he runs in his room and takes out all his toys and puts them up on the bed. Then we play together with them. He loves the Woody & Buzz Lightyear collection we got him, that and his dot dot paints. He tells his mama he wants to go to ga ga’s house and paint with his dot dots!!

I received some beautiful pictures of Sage from her maternity shoot, and more from her & Amelia for the month of December.

I have not had to work for a few weeks now, since Thanksgiving I have had a lot of time off. It has been so wonderful just staying home with the dogs, getting Christmas done, and undone, reading a lot, and spending extra time with Pete.