Me giving my grandson baths, listening to mamas & papas.

The sweetness & gratitude moments of when they brought the new baby home. His big brother was so sweet with him.

A time in my life where I am most grateful & happy. We feel so very blessed.

Then our youngest daughter comes home from Japan with the exciting news that she is engaged! I have been hoping for this, and we are very happy.

My daughter is the most beautiful soul, she loves whole heartedly, without conditions, she is one of the most Christlike humans I know, and she has helped me so much in this life. I wish her only joy, love, and happiness throughout her life, and I will always be her biggest fan.

My heart has been heavy & sad this past week, I cry in my car, I talk to God, I have been extremely troubled.

Although I am very happy that we have a beautiful new grandbaby, and my youngest is engaged, there is so much trouble in our Country.

I do not understand why these things are happening, and the cover up from the monster who put us all in this situation in the first place. We knew this would happen, we tried to voice our concerns, mainly on my blog, but I find myself with people/family who do not want to hear it, and who want instead to try to cover it up.

This bothers me intensely. It feels like I’m Anne Frank and the Nazis are invading neighborhoods, going door to door kidnapping, brutalizing, and causing great fear in our country.

Would my very own family be ok with what they did back in Germany with the Jews? I hear statements like, “As long as it’s not happening to me, I’m ok

I’m not going to let this upset me”

Seriously? How could they be happy or not let this bother them when innocent people are being killed, and beat up?

I am thankful that God gave me the heart I have and I will be ok with how I am acting in this moment in History.

Do they read their scriptures? Are they that ignorant that they can justify this cruelty? They show up for church on Sundays in their nice dresses & suits singing worship songs while their neighbors are being bullied & killed.

It makes me sick to my stomach and I will always continue to fight for the underdogs.

Please note, I DO NOT FUCKING CARE IF THEY ARE IMMIGRANTS! I don’t even care if their criminals, you do not murder people!!

And of course, trump has it all twisted, and fake news, trying to make America believe that these people are bad, and they deserve it.

I think thats how they treated Christ.

My soul feels heavy; I cry a lot.

God tells me to forgive these people who I am so upset with. HE tells me HE loves them unconditionally, however HE also tells me that it’s ok for me to be so sad, because I have a heart and a good soul. HE tells me everyone will get their karma, whether in this life or the next, and HE tells me not to worry or be troubled.

Peace, I leave with you Jayda, not the peace from this world but the peace from Christ.

I will continue to document, like I have my whole life.

One day my books will be left for my family, and they will see this hate almost got to me. But because I have Christ in my heart I will rise above, I will continue to keep my eyes on the light while I am walking through the shadow of death & hate.

Several people fear GOD because of their religious beliefs, they think certain ways, and are conservative about how life is supposed to be, But the freedom God gave back to me on a cold September day back in 2019, is radical, I will fight like hell and not let ANYONE try to take that away from me, because deep in my heart I know this life is not about a religion, it’s a personal, freeing, relationship with Christ who loves us all.

Jayda Dawn